H: …After 1 year has passed, I think things cannot have worsened…
Me: But time has stopped still for me… there’s no difference between now and then… you speak like u have never loved anyone.
H: I have… If you’d believe in afterlife a bit then you’d understand that your sufferings carry on in the other person’s afterlife. When I say afterlife, I believe that the person does not immediately resume a new life. I don’t know… but I believe a person may get stuck in a limbo for a very, very long period… especially the one who is really attached to someone in this physical world… the loved one. Rebirth would take a long, long time in such a case. After rebirth I don’t know if the person can remember anything from past life.
See, suppose he is watching you right now. How do you think he would feel? He won’t be able to carry on.. seeing u like this.
Me: Then he should very well do something, and not just watch me.
H: Do you really think that in their form and existence they can do anything… other than feel… feel emotions of their loved ones? Its not possible.
Me: If he exists in some realm, he would have some powers… or atleast he can give me a message in some way.
H: How can he? He can’t touch a thing… See… it is solely your belief, whether you want to believe in afterlife or not…
Me: Its not easy to believe or not believe, u know… you can only question… and seek proof or some sign…
H: You can do it… Think of this belief as love. This time, similar to one-sided love which does not require any feedback from anyone.
Me: If it was so easy to fool my mind, i wud have..
Ofcourse, my love for him remains the same, and it cannot change as long as i am alive. But its not so much about me… its about him as much as me… i cry because i feel for him and i identify myself with him… he did not die alone… This is my pain, of not being able to live and not being able to die.
H: I am worried…
Me: Don’t… I give no importance to myself and my grief in the context of this big world. I wish i just disappear in my own insignificance, and nobody even realise it.
Remainders of a Life 
“he did not die alone… This is my pain, of not being able to live and not being able to die.”
I can relate to this… Hugs.