Archive for June, 2010

The Bane of the Half-Souls
June 24, 2010

We are all born as half-souls. And it is only the rarest of beings who are fortunate enough to find their soulmates, and spend their life with them. It is indeed very very rare- being entirely dependent on that one law that guides our existence: The Law of Chance Happenings. We are born under this law, we meet people under this law, we miss things and we get things under this law. Not every single event is by chance, no. But that is just another chance (or good luck, as we know) that sometimes things go the way we plan for them to go.

There is no destiny. Our lives arent charted out the moment we are born and the stars align themselves to draw our future. No. Every decision that we take in life has equal chances of going bad or proving good for us. Good, bad  and ugly things are distributed with equal chances of happening amongst good people, bad people, beautiful people or ugly people. Events are BLIND and Luck is one hell of a destiny-maker. There is no denying the fact that in such a universe, the best way to live is Do your best, take all precautions and wish for good luck.

There is no ‘higher meaning’ to something special happening in your life. It happened because out of a billion random possibilities, this event got happened- some ‘one‘ event had to happen, right. And who can tell, you might just have missed out on a million ‘better’ things, in lieu. But no point being pessimistic and all. Complete waste, I tell you.

They say ‘marriages are made in heaven‘. The next part of the sentence goes, ‘and till the wedding day, even the heavens are kept guessing‘.

So, in such a world, it would be a wonderful-wonderful good luck to find your soulmate… Because to meet him, and in time (thats important too), all the billion random possibilities must give way to that one magical possibility, by sheer ‘matter of chance’. (M-O-C under TLOCH is a thing with no feelings, no life and completely oblivious to what it could do to people’s lives, so please dont judge it or think it hates you).

I dont know if there can be more than one soul-mate. I believe, there isnt.

Normally, people marry and spend their lives with a person who is not their soulmate. But they manage, most atleast. We all like, adore and are fond of so many people in our lives, and one of the nicer ones go on to become our life-partners. That ain’t so difficult.

But its the great human miss, the most killing unknown sorrow…. ah! the life they could have had if they had found their soulmates… There would have been no seven year itches (now its more like 3 year itches). There would be no extra marital affairs, no separations, no boredom in the bedroom, no feeling of being unwanted and uncared for, no insecurities….

Because the magical thing about finding your soulmate is that you become One from being Half.

You become complete. Its blissful, and its indescribable. You see each other’s dreams in each other’s eyes. You don’t have to say anything- you understand each other completely even in the deepest silence. Your soul stirs at the very voice, sound, smell, look, thought and presence of your soulmate. You share every little and big thing with each other with an unexplainable enthusiasm, untiringly every single day, just like childhood best friends. And the passion is so deep, it goes beyond even the physical needs. You are completely faithful and loyal to each other- one life seems just too short to have enough of one another. You do not run after material possessions and fame, because you have the priceless jewel of the most beautiful feeling of love. Your children become the symbol of your love, and there is no greater joy than to see love blossom into such beautiful angels. You grow together- spiritually and into better human beings. Such a relationship also has its deep fears- because its so precious, it scares you. You want to protect it from everything and everyone. But even this fear is beautiful in its aching sighs.

But, that life is not for us. Most never have the good luck to find their soulmates. The best thing to do is ofcourse to grow to love the one we have got. But the struggle and tension of the relationship never completely ceases, that remote sense of an ancient thirst never gets fulfilled… because the fundamental truth is that the two ‘jigsaw’ pieces of the souls do not fit- they were not made for each other simply. So the gaps remain, the edges brush against each other causing friction… little pieces break… thats how life is…

Some of the luckier ones find their soulmates and lead blissful ‘complete’ lifetimes.

But there are some who find their soulmates, and then lose them…. the depth of their sorrow and grief can not ever be understood or even imagined.  Such is the cruelty of the Law of the Universe.


Nihilist Speaks
June 23, 2010

“Faith is deciding to allow yourself to believe
something your intellect would otherwise cause
you to reject — otherwise there’s no need for faith.”


“The alienated are those who find the truth, thus, becoming more alienated.”


“We must question the story of logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, then blames them for his own mistakes.”


“Faith is the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate.”


“As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.”


“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.”


The lost souls…
June 10, 2010

The little girl finished her bath, put on her favourite pink frock and ran outside looking for her twin brother. “Ron! Ron! Where are you, now really!!!” She needed to get the old swing tied back to the tree; it had broken in the storm last night. She went all around the yard, but could find no trace of him. “Must be hiding from me, that dreadful old game of his!”, she laughed joyfully. And then, in the moment of a gap between two breaths, she stopped to hear a sharp screech of tyres. She ran through the white gates and looked out. In the middle of the road, shining in the afternoon sun, lay her twin brother… soaked in blood…. no longer her living twin anymore… She stood watching over him. He didnt move. She felt herself dying in him.. She looked at his face- an image of her own face, no longer full of life, or making funny faces at her…

Her Ron will no longer wake up and play with her, laugh with her, sleep with his arms around her, bring her hidden treasures, share the thousand secrets… oh, those secrets are to be her burden alone now… she, who had never learnt to live life without him since the womb…


The wife finished the household chores long before, in anticipation of his early return from work… He had called during the day and told her he had a surprise for her, and he couldnt wait to be near her. Beth knew he would come home, simply hold her frail body in his strong arms and tell her how crazy in love he is, and that is his ‘big surprise’! Her eyes filled up with tears of love and she wondered how every hour they were not together was so incomplete for both of them, and she blushed thinking about his love and their passion, even after 10 years of marital bliss. She laid out fresh clean clothes for him in the bed, and started preparing for tea. She could still smell him in her body, still feel his prickly day-old beard on her soft cheeks as he kissed her that morning, and she smiled by herself as her heart waited to see him and hear him call her name. The phone rang. It was her mother-in -law. He slipped, she said. Hours later they brought his still body in a box and laid it in the parlour. The face hadn’t changed since morning, smooth skin and those full lips of his… But the body was stiff and cold, it was not breathing and there was no smell of him….


The mother gently put her weak little boy to sleep, whispering in his ears, “The fairy angel will come and sprinkle sweet dreams on my darling sonny. Good night dear.” Little Jemmy coughed horribly, but smiled at her words and fell asleep peacefully. The night was cold outside and snow had covered the little village in its wrap. The lonely widow worked on her wool till her eyes could no longer keep the needles going. She didnt know where the next meal would come from, or how she would buy the medicines for her son, but she found strength in the love for her child; she said a prayer and went off to sleep. The next morning, she woke up to a strange silence in the little house. She couldn’t make it out at first; she walked to the window and looked out- the morning fog was cold and gloomy, and a slight drizzle pattered on the roof… Something wasn’t alright… what was it… Suddenly with a shiver her heart stopped and she ran to the little room upstairs. He was lying like a beautiful angel… The blanket was over him just as she had left it in the night. She came near his bed quietly, afraid of learning something… she sat by him and looked at his face… so fair and innocent… her heart burst with love… But she felt a chill in the air and noticed the open window…. She felt scared to touch him… She sat like that for hours till Dorothy, the next door neighbour, came looking for her…


Gibran’s Love
June 7, 2010

I was eighteen years of age when love opened my eyes with its magic rays and touched my spirit for the first time with its fiery fingers… Selma led me into the garden of high affection, where days pass like dreams and nights like weddings… My life had been like a coma, empty… and then she filled it with secrets and wonders and made me understand the meaning of life.

Today, after many years have passed, I have nothing left out of that beautiful dream except painful memories flapping like invisible wings around me, filling the depths of my heart with sorrow, and bringing tears to my eyes; and my beloved, beautiful Selma, is dead and nothing is left to commemorate her except my broken heart and a tomb surrounded by cypress trees.

Oh, friends of my youth who are scattered in the city of Beirut, when you pass by the cemetery near the pine forest, enter it silently… and say to yourself, “Here, all the hopes of Gibran, who is living as prisoner of love beyond the seas, were buried. On this spot he lost his happiness, drained his tears, and forgot his smile.”

By that tomb grows Gibran’s sorrow together with the cypress trees, and above the tomb his spirit flickers every night… joining the branches of the trees in sorrowful wailing, mourning and lamenting the going of Selma, who yesterday was a beautiful tune on the lips of life and today is a silent secret in the bossom of the earth.

The Broken Wings– Kahlil Gibran